to be honest, i have never given the red light district much thought.
from what I understand, it’s just some hard working ladies (and dudes? are there dudes there?), doing their thing, fancy as poo. and i suppose there are a whole lot of boobies. just like, waving to you and stuff. like new orleans, except they party with stroopwafels instead of beignets.
hilarious jokes aside.
i have finally started to give this naughty neighborhood a little thought. why? because chances are, in the upcoming months, i will likely have to pass through it on my way home from sunday brunch. my son will most likely stare (he has a thing for the boob) and i want to be prepared to answer any questions he has. because i am a damn good mom. and their boobs might look better than mine.
yep. we are totally moving to amsterdam.
we have known about the potential move for a few months. now that it is official, i have allowed myself to freak the frak (battlestar fans?) out, dance wildly around the house, sulk in the corner, and whisper sweet nothings to my new orleans walls, it’s not you, it’s me; no wall can ever compare; please keep my secrets… it’s officially time to peace out and move on when you start talking to your walls.
i am scared. i am excited. i am praying i don’t fall off my bike.
things will be harder with a lil dude. they we also be more beautiful, so i don’t dare complain–still, i am scared that the move will not make sense to him or that he just hates the look of clogs (a legit fear). he’ll be six months old when we move. that’s a whole lot to process for someone who just discovered his tongue.
no worries, friends–we are up for the challenge! we are adventurers, after all. i don’t think our move is going to surprise many people. of course, you guys are moving to another country. what took you so long? will you still post every annoying/awesome thing on facebook? is the response i have been hearing after delivering the news. and why exactly are we moving? my husband has been going to amsterdam every two weeks since dawson was born; you can put two and two together, right? he kicks big booty at work so they send him to cool places. i am super proud of him. i also miss him like crazy. it was time to do the *dam* thing and make the big move.
the other hard thing about this move was the fact that i own a business in new orleans. one that requires my services are booked a year or more in advance. one that deals with the most beautiful, horrifying (it’s cool–i was once one) people in the world: brides. yes folks, i own a wedding and event planning business. i know it sounds pretty, but it has to be one of the least glamorous jobs in the world. that doesn’t make it a bad job (by any means), it just means that while everyone else is looking their best and most sparkly for the big day, i am sweaty, defeated, running around (for a while with a huge preggo belly), occasionally dealing with some nasty (mostly drunk or bitter) relatives, praying the bride hasn’t noticed that rain cloud or that her peonies are more dusty pink than blush pink, and seldom am i able to reapply deodorant. and that’s okay, that’s my job: to be the stinky one, so that the bride isn’t. i am really good at my job.
so, for the past few months, i have been devoting most of my “oh goodness, the bebe is finally asleep, hurry and do important shit” time to finding the absolute best wedding planners to take over my 2014 weddings. it was heartbreaking. i really loved (was slightly obsessed with) these girls and no one wants to upset a bride. no one. but it was the absolute best decision to be made for my family and nothing is more important to me. my big girl panties fit just fine.
so come late february, we’ll be going dutch!
and that’s the reason for this new blog: the monsters club. i want to tell you guys all about it. every. single. fantastic. dutch. thing. because if there is one thing i am seriously good at, it’s over-sharing on social media.
plus, i needed another place to store dawson’s ridiculously adorable pics. instagram is filling up.
and guess what else? this is the year i finish writing my book (no, really). the one about monsters. and you know how i am going to do it? by being a stay at home mom (gasp!), pursuing writing and freelancing full-freaking-time (oh god, yes!), and working on another huge dream of mine (find out more in a future post, sneaky). if you know me (like, really well) you know that being a stay at home mama was never a dream of mine. on the contrary, it was closer to a nightmare i use to have. things are different now; lil dude different. i am happier, more sleep deprived, and loonier than i have ever been.
and i can’t wait to write all about it. every ridiculous, martini talking detail.
welcome to the monsters club.